Lately, I’ve been kept awake at night with thoughts about how music and writing, songs & poetry – my life as both performer and writer, singer & poet – intersect. Also, how polar opposite they can be at times. How in both arts I’m constantly auditioning and re-auditioning, re-assessing, re-visioning – sometimes wondering why I do it. Especially at moments when I get (another) rejection, when I feel like family or friends don’t understand. When I’m just plain tired.
Passion. Love. A feeling in my bones that this is what I do best, this is what I was made for. That’s why I keep writing and singing.
Because nothing else fills the void, holds me fast and captures me – like an electricity running through me all the way past the tips of my fingers. A calm sea washing over me. Both can have the effect of becoming lost within the song or story on the page, far from my self. Digging deep into how my mind and body work to create sound and thought. Both can be solitary arts in practice, and intensely personal. When shared, they become full of public eyes and scrutiny, people telling what they liked or disliked, approving or rejecting your art.
What is important is to get past the feeling of being rejected yourself. But can you ever really separate your self from the art you create? There is a part of me inside each song I sing, poem and story I write — such is the risk we take as artists. It is also what makes it so fulfilling, that our songs and stories exist within ourselves and by sharing them, we are revealing our souls. Can we separate our selves from our art? I still struggle with this, even after 20+ years of auditioning, performing, writing, editing, revising…the process is never-ending.
And so is my heart, stretched across each word, each breath, each noun phrase and legato line. With every poem and song I release a part of my self, my soul – hoping it shimmers with light. Willing it to be beautiful, to be meaningful, to be true.
Copyright June 10 2016 Stacie Eirich